Small victories

It's been awhile since I last posted. I just had to share a small victory that occurred for me today. Last week, I was so beyond frustrated with my students. Students were grumpy, apathetic, falling asleep, not answering questions. I had to write two referrals for insubordinate behavior. I was ready to tear my hair out, or quit, or throw a chair out the classroom window. Really any of those felt reasonable to me last week. As I usually do, I took the weekend to get over it so I could start fresh on Monday.

Here's how today went down: The worst apathy last week was in my 1st hour. Today, I laid down the law with them. I told them that we have only 3 days of class this week, and only 3 weeks when we get back from the break, and I need them to buckle down and get it together. I made it clear I would not accept shenanigans. I hate having to do this, but I have to say: it worked. They mostly stayed focused and tried to do take part in the class. In my 2nd hour class, I spoke to one of the girls who had been defiant last week. She had been defiant about her phone - and was trying to play the same game with me today. I made it very clear this would not be accepted, and would probably result in another referral. I ended up taking her phone away from her at one point because she could not stop taking it out. For the rest of class, she actually did her work and stay focused. She came up to me at the end of class to get her phone. I was expecting sass, but instead, she said, "Can you start keeping my phone at your desk everyday? I got more work done today." I was shocked, but happily agreed. 4th hour was a bit insane, but hey - I'm proud of my small victories. I think focusing on these little things will help me to keep my positivity and hopefulness.

Maybe I'm "growing up" as a teacher!

Checked out!

Everybody told me, they warned me: This time of the year is the hardest. Not only are the students just completely checked out, so am I! I'm trying to stay focused and get as much as I can done, but I've decided I'm just not going to stress over it. We'll get done what we get done. I'm not going to worry about absences or students who are not being productive. It's no longer my problem. They've made their choices and there is probably little I can do for the students who have given up. I will try my best, but I'm not going to lose my head over it.

In other news, I can't wait to have a bit of free time - I've been really itching to write and I need to read. It's a physical need. I'm moving in June - going to co-habitate for the first time with my boyfriend Gautam, who is also a teacher. Super excited - but the actual act of moving is a pain. I'm doing tutoring in June, but that will be somewhat less stressful. I just need some time to breathe and take stock in myself again.

Anyone who complains about teachers getting summer off needs a reality check.

Teacher Rant!

So I haven't posted in ages, I know this. Quick summary of my life: I'm teaching at a new school after my last district did not continue my contract due to budgetary issues. I'm at a small charter high school for at risk youth, which comes with a whole set of awesome rewards and frustrations. One of the biggest frustrations is my students' attendance and tardy issues. I have some students who will just not show up for days and days, and then show up completely lost because they've missed so much school. I get so frustrated - I need to find a way to not get frustrated and move on past them. I guess I just feel bad and feel like I need to spend time catching them up. But that is not fair to the students who have been here. I really wish I could find a way to be a bit meaner about this. It's driving me crazy! I can deal with apathy, bad attitudes, cursing - but I cannot deal with kids just NOT showing up for no reason.

ARGH! Help with any suggestions, please!

Talk is cheap, but at least we're talking

I have been having a lot of conversations lately - with fellow teachers, ex-teachers, concerned citizens, friends - about the state of education in this country right now. So many people have so many suggestions about what could fix the education system, but what is the right thing to do? How can we make up for years of doing it wrong? And No Child Left Behind? And standardized testing? Will it really take, as one fellow teacher suggested, twenty years for the pendulum to swing back to a place where creativity and passion for learning reigns supreme again? I'm worried we are creating passionless, robotic students that have no internal motivation for anything. Is it the parents, the schools, our society in general? Most of the teachers I know work damn hard, and try the best they can to do a good job in a system that is often thwarting them at every turn. By the high school level, we are not going to be able to make up for bad parenting, education failures in their past, etc. We do what we can. I do what I can on a daily basis, but teachers are so overworked as it is, how can we have the time to fight for the changes that need to happen. I don't know if I want to be a teacher forever, but I can tell you one thing: I can see myself trying to fight for policy changes and trying to fix this broken system. Our kids deserve better. Even when they make us want to tear our hair out. Which is almost every day for me. But I still want them to succeed.

Herding Cats

Long time, no post. Very long story short - I got a job! I have a Masters degree and a job. Does this mean I have any clue what I'm doing, in regards to my career as a teacher? No. But anyways, I found a mid-year teaching job at Peoria High School. Which is totally amazing and I am super lucky to have found a teaching job mid-year. But it is like nothing I've ever done. Ever. Exhausting and overwhelming are good adjectives. Asking me how it is going really just depends on the day.

For example, today was rough. At times, I feel like I'm an elementary school teacher, which is not what I wanted to do. This is why I obtained my degree in Secondary Education. It's just very different from what I experienced last semester in my student teaching with honors Sophomores. With my new job, I have low-level Freshmen (well and some Sophomores and Juniors) who don't exactly love school (mostly because it is hard for them and they've probably struggled for awhile) - so sometimes it's akin to herding or wrangling cats just to get them to pay attention long enough to listen to instructions, or stay quiet during independent work. Oddly, the only thing that seems to keep them paying attention is when I have them take notes. Notes. The most boring part of school. I will never understand teenagers. Okay, this is my rant and also my way of avoiding the lesson planning I'm supposed to be doing.

Oh blog, how I've failed you!

I realize I have not posted in over two months... yeah being a teacher is hard and a lot of work. And I had a bunch of personal issues I was dealing with too. Blogging probably would have helped. Maybe I am just not meant to be a blogger.....

Hitting My Stride

This was a good work week for me. I am finally feeling more comfortable as a teacher – I’m thinking of myself as a teacher. One reason is that I can feel that the students think of me as their teacher, ask me questions as their teacher, come to me with concerns etc. I am also feeling more comfortable with the classroom management side of things. On Friday during 2nd period, we had a few different activities going on during the period, and part of the time was allotted to a writing assignment. The students were supposed to be working independently, but were having a hard time getting quiet and on task. I had to tell them to get back on task. When we were reflecting after, Mr. M told me that he liked how I handled the situation – he said that I was polite, respectful, but abrupt in the way that I asked them to get back on task, which he said made it clear that I was firm on the issue. I’ve mentioned before that I am uncomfortable "disciplining", so it was good to hear that I handled it well. The most important thing to me is that I find my own style, and that I am fair, consistent, and respectful of each of my students.

Another reason I am feeling more like a teacher, more excited about the profession, more like I’ve found the right profession for me was because I attended the Arizona English Teachers’ Association conference this weekend. It was an uh-mazing experience, I learned so many new and interesting things, books to suggest to my students, techniques to use in the classroom, etc. I appreciated being with people who are passionate about the same things I am, and talking to them about their experiences and the things they do in their classroom. Also, the food was really really good – and free food equals WIN when you are a student teacher. Also also, on Friday night of the conference, there was a performance by spoken word/slam poet Merlyn Hepworth. He rocked my socks off... here is a video of him performing the first poem he performed for us. It's about being caught between two cultures (he is half Caucasion, and half Chicano). It's powerful and amazing:

Overall, good week, I'm doing well, still trying to get through the Tartuffe essays and not getting a whole lot of sleep with prepping still taking me a long time. But I'm happy and I'm learning a lot, and those are the most important things.